I have recently begun another journal/blog. This one is for a specific purpose. It is a chronicle of a crazy personâ€™s journey to get her PhD. I consider it auto-ethnographic. Mostly because that sounds really important and cool, more so than calling it a blog, yes I really am becoming an academic snob. I donâ€™t know if I can call it an auto-ethnography though, because Iâ€™m not sure of all the criteria for that, and I might run into issues of consent, but in my own mind that is what it is.
I want to write a blunt and raw account of this journey for me/us. I donâ€™t want to hide the issues I face, or pretend. People always say, oh everyone has to deal with this, and I want scream no they donâ€™t. Everyone might have moments of feeling like crap after a supervisorâ€™s meeting but how many of them wake up the next day with four toenails missing and their labia raw and bloody. And yes I am aware thatâ€™s an extreme example, but it is a reality we live with. It wonâ€™t stop us, but it is… different. So I think about writing about this stuff, the really bad stuff, the slightly annoying stuff, the amusing stuff. The achievements we fight hard for, the unexpected rewards, the times when I want to throw it all in. I want to laugh about the crazy, to analysis it, to share the stumbles and the moments of amazement. So I started a livejournal account for it, and have a plan.
And here is the bit I donâ€™t know if it is such a good idea. Now that Iâ€™ve started it, I get this urge to publicise it, to make it known and allow anyone to read it. Other students, and lecturers, even my supervisors. I do not know if any of them would read it, but it would be about making it known. There is a college postgrad blog I could link it to. It is not the how to make it public that is the question, it is the should we. I recently watched a youtube vid of a lecture a third year student gave about mpd/did. She did really well actually, and it was part of my inspiration. I canâ€™t imagine the university asking me to do something similar, but then again, they donâ€™t know Iâ€™m here. But I could imagine myself doing this project, letting people follow the journey. I just donâ€™t know if there would be major repercussions of doing so.
I know I really want to do it, but I also know I need to be realistic.