Woohoo. So ok Iâ€™m a little bit intoxicated.
This isnâ€™t a bad thing. Let me explain. Today at school it seemed no one was that interested in doing their work. Which meant a lot of chatting and socialising. In the afternoon, one of the women, someone we recently outed ourselves as being traumatised and crazy (long story donâ€™t want to get into it now), suggested we go for a drink at the staff club at 5. Usually Iâ€™d say no and run off home and hide. This time I said, Iâ€™d love to but without warning I have no money aside for it. She said sheâ€™d buy me a beer, so for some reason I said yes. We ended up there with her and her husband and another student and her husband, and shock horror, it was a great time. We spend about 2 Â½ hours there tonight. We had fun. Ok there were a couple of moments of craziness but we were able to step out of those moments and carry on socialising. Had three drinks, not enough to get drunk, but enough to be slightly intoxicated. We chatted and behaved all normal without it being staged and false. As I said it wasnâ€™t without issues, but Iâ€™m glad I took the risk, Iâ€™m glad I chose to socialise, to be part of the world for a while. Part of it is managing the risk, I could do it, be in a place where I could be reasonably safe and had my outs. It was pushing my boundaries of comfortablity, but not so much that I would end up a traumatised disaster. Iâ€™m really kind of proud of our action today.