Friday sucked to the degree of losing time and spinning out of control. All because we decided to treat ourselves by having sushi for dinner. The sushi we like is at the back of a mall which isn’t usually a big deal until we discover they have put on some Easter show in the centre of the mall. It could have been worse, it could have been a religious thing, although in saying that, walking past the Easter Bunny singing and dancing with little children was enough to throw us out of whack.

God my friends annoy me sometimes, the assumption everyone knows about everything, or maybe its just an assumption that the person you talk to is the one you want to talk to. Maybe I am assuming too much, wanting too much from our friends, but really is it that hard to ask before talking about something really specific. When a friend comes online and starts to talk to us about school in specific detail why is it automatically assumed that the person they are talking to knows anything about school. Really only two of us actually do the work at school, others may go back that’s more for the coffee and to see and talk to people. They haven’t much of a clue what we are studying other than the general details. But when it comes to the details of what it is we are researching, or what our classes are about they are virtually clueless. Basically it would be the same as one of our friends asking another of our friends what it is we are studying. Maybe if they have paid really close attention they might get it right, but mostly it would just be a vague picture. But because we share this one body we should all know everything? It doesn’t work that way for us. Now I know the previous person could have just said, hey I don’t know shit about school instead of having to stop what they were doing and find me to replace them. But honestly we are not all that assertive and even after all these years it is difficult not to just be what people want us to be. So does that make it our fault for not speaking up rather than switching positions and feeling resentful? Well in part yes, if we don’t like doing something, if we don’t like how an interaction is going it is our responsibility to speak up about it. We can’t expect the world to read our minds. (I am not wanting to be my mother). We do need to learn how to say not right now, to not slide into meeting their needs in spite of our own desires. If the person who came and got me hadn’t wanted to continue what she was doing then there wouldn’t have been an issue with her giving up her spot, but because she did so reluctantly and well, with a large amount of hostility then we need to learn not to do that just to meet another’s need. Of course all of this only comes into play when we are dealing with someone that knows we are multiple.

Since I am out here talking about school and bitching in this journal entry, let me continue. Now I know most of the time people here never sign anything, especially not emails to email lists. There are many reasons for that but I wonder if signing anything would actually make any difference. Yesterday Victress wrote into a list I am on. She is one of the people here that always signs her name on what she writes, mostly because she knows she is rather outspoken and sometimes controversial, so for her she doesn’t what the rest of us labelled with her beliefs. The only response she got to her email was to be told it takes strength to express oneself. When Victress read that it made her laugh, like somehow it was difficult for her to write what she did. Again there is the assumption that we are all the same, that we have the same reactions, the same struggles, the same issues and beliefs. Its almost like signing a name holds no real meaning, or signing different names does not mean that we are different people. I suppose a lot of this might come from that idea that somehow we are all parts of one person, so of course we would all have the same issues, desires, all travelling in the same direction. Be multiple but be all the same.