I found my stockings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know that doesnt’ seem a big deal but I’ve been looking for them for about six weeks and thought they had disappeared. I had meant to buy replacements last week but forgot, so was worried about the interviews on Wednesday. Today I found them so its a big yay.
Well last night’s “I’m going to die all alone†turned into “I’m so glad I’m alone or this would be embarrassingâ€. I’m not sure what it is, never go to doctors unless I can’t help it, but ever since I had my major issues with my gall bladder I get these episodes. What it basically feels like is trapped hard… (more…)
I was having a dream, basically it started off as a smutty dream about Abby from NCIS then turned into a nightmare where all the humans on the planet were charging these ugly alien type monsters and I was stuck in the middle, in the spot where they would clash and trying to get to a cabin in time, but… (more…)
I’ve just been sent a reminder from my supervisor that i have to give a lecture to her EDUC318 class on the 8th of September, excuse me while I run around like a headless chicken for a few hours before working out what I need to do, and then having drooling panic attacks
The snow is starting to melt. I realised today it makes me sad, not because I’ll be missing the snow, but rather the isolation it brings. When it’s snowing that hard, when there’s cm’s lying on the ground and everyone shuts themselves inside it brings me comfort. I think its more social phobia, or agoraphobia, or whatever damn phobia it… (more…)
Woke up this morning to a bright sunny day, albeit a damn cold one, it’s 10:30 and there’s still frost on the ground. But it’s annoying, the forecast was for heavy snow for 3 days, and sure that’s inconvenient and most people would be hoping it doesn’t happen, but it was such a disappointment to me. I wish the forecast… (more…)
So I’m less crazy today, I mean, I’m still crazy that’s sort of a given, but its back to being manageable levels of insanity. Last night was the extreme end of craziness, more extreme that it probably has been for ages. I ended up taking a pill at 4am, it didn’t kick in for a few hours and then pushed… (more…)
I was going to write something positive and skippy about today’s work, but when I was about ¾’s the way home the panic attack hit and hit hard. I was still on the bus, which might have been fortunate because it was only my fear of public humiliation to that stopped me curling up in a ball and sobbing. All… (more…)
I have a test run of an interview tomorrow. My supervisor has roped her daughter into being my test subject. It’s nerve-wracking, but it will help to know I have one interview under my belt before I go out and do the real thing at the end of the month. When we were talking about the school part of the… (more…)
I have been hit with a pretty severe case of depression. There’s pretty twelve different reasons for it (hey ‘countless’ sounds too dramatic), but regardless of the reasons I’m pretty swamped by it all. There’s that feeling I’m one breath away from sobbing constantly, I have no concentration, can’t settle on doing one thing, everything seems so damn pointless. So… (more…)